I was mentoring a new manager some time ago whose top performer had just given notice. She mentioned this was the second resignation of a top performer in four months, which is why she sought help. The manager was genuinely surprised by the departure. Her comments were: "It felt out of the blue," and "We had a good 1:1 just last week. Everything seemed fine."
I asked what she had been coaching this employee on over the last six months.
After a moment, she replied, "Nothing, really. They were performing at a high level, hitting goals, and didn't have any major problems. We just talked about their tasks."
The manager was reacting only to task output, which is common since that is often the primary metric of success. But output data is a lagging indicator of performance. Focusing solely on it means the manager fails to track the employee’s capacity for future work, which is the variable that determines whether top talent stays.
Reactive coaching involves stepping in only after a failure, a complaint, or a retention flag has already been raised. This activity feels urgent and productive because it’s a fire being put out.
But the failure to engage proactively confirms to your best employees that your attention is reserved for problems, not for growth.
Why development gets deferred
After that mentoring call, I spent some time considering why this manager, and, frankly, most managers, myself included, consistently let the development of our best people slide.
I believe it’s not intentional, but comes down to a kind of managerial procrastination. The same thinking that we tell ourselves, “I’ll start eating healthy tomorrow” or “I’ll finally organize that messy file folder next week.” We know that preventative development is important, but we defer it for urgent things.
There are four common pitfalls that hijack a manager's focus, pulling it entirely toward the urgent and away from future capacity:
#1 High performers are left on autopilot: Management resources are allocated based on underperformance or failure, not potential. The highest producers often receive the least focused attention, creating a passive reward system for struggle.
#2 Development is viewed as "Extra work": Coaching is often incorrectly categorized as an optional activity, separate from core management duties. It is deferred indefinitely because it lacks an immediate deadline or operational necessity.
#3 The urgent outweighs the important: Crisis management is prioritized because the stakes are visible and immediate. Proactive conversations feel "soft" and can be postponed compared to resolving a live operational problem.
#4 The 1:1 is only a Status report: Dedicated meeting time is spent reviewing completed tasks and current projects. Discussion focuses on current activities (What) rather than future capability (Who/Where), failing to build retention value.
Maintenance vs. Investment
The core issue is that we confuse Issue resolution with Capacity building. We mistake reactive maintenance for proactive investment.
When a team member has a problem, you resolve it. This is necessary work. However, issue resolution only solves for the present deficiency. Capacity building, or in other words development, is the work that protects the team from future breakdowns and increases overall output potential.
If you only interact with your team when something needs fixing, you send a clear signal - my attention is a resource reserved only for failure. This is why top performers, who rarely fail, feel invisible.
This behavior needs an adjustment.
10-1-10 framework
This framework doesn't require you to add more time, but rather reallocate the time you already have within your existing 1:1 (I’m of course assuming you have regular 1:1 with your team, otherwise we have bigger issues).
The goal is to integrate small, preventative coaching moments within your 1:1, because scheduling a separate, formal hour for development will be as effective as putting a New Year’s resolution on your calendar and hoping the willpower just shows up.
Here is the simple approach to transition your 1:1 from a simple status check to a smart growth checkpoint:
10 minutes for look ahead: Dedicate the first 10 minutes of every other 1:1 to discussing their next required capacity. Focus on the complexity of the problems they want to handle, not just the title.
Action: Ask them to identify one structural problem in the team or company they feel ready to own or fix in the next six months. The conversation is about the gap between their current skill and the required capacity for that problem.
1 question coach: At the end of the operational status update, ask one targeted question focused purely on learning or capability, not task completion.
Examples: "If you had to teach this specific task to an intern tomorrow, what three shortcuts would you tell them to avoid?" or "What's the riskiest assumption you made this week about this project that turned out to be wrong, and what did you learn?"
10 minute gap closer: Set aside one dedicated 10 minute slot every month for a single, small skill correction. This is not a formal review. It is a quick, focused burst on a tangible behavior that currently creates friction.
Examples: Practice writing one clear subject line for a difficult email, defining three bullet points for a necessary pushback, or rehearsing the first sentence of a difficult conversation. It's a small, isolated practice that prevents future fire drills.
This involves spending less than ten minutes differently per week. You move that time away from receiving status updates that could be read, and invest it directly into the future output of your team. Stop reacting to gaps, and start building capacity.
The bottom line
Coaching is a priority you should embed in your routine. If you approach it like a program you launch, I bet it will feel awkward to you and your team and eventually fail.
So start small, by moving delivery of status updates to tools (email, docs) and use the reclaimed time to incorporate at least some elements of the 10-1-10 framework.
If you don't define the next level of challenge for your best people, they will find someone who does.
See you next Tuesday.
Cheers.